A meeting of minds

Writing Head wanders onto an empty stage clutching a pen and notepad.   

Improv Head bounds on clutching an imaginary picnic hamper.

Improv Head: Hi. Fantastic day for a picnic in this beautiful park. I’m Mel.

Writing Head: But that's my name, too. 

IH: Wow. That’s awesome, isn’t it?

WH: No. It’s terrible.

IH: You're blocking me.

WH: Yes, but it’s far too much of a coincidence.

IH: It worked for Shakespeare.

WH: Yes, but he gave his identical characters different names. It’ll be confusing   

having identical Mels.

IH: Hey. Enough of the ‘yes but’ crap. Audiences love this kind of stuff.

WH: Audiences? (Starts trembling and turns to stare out into the darkened theatre).

IH: Nice emotional response, Mel.  Now, what don’t you like about audiences?

WH: They give me a funny feeling in my stomach.

IH: Name it.

WH: A sort of swirly, churny sensation.

IH: Name it.

WH: I’m terrified.

IH: Great. Now let’s raise the emotional stakes.

WH: I mean what if my characters aren’t believable?

IH: Good. Keep escalating.

WH: Or the point of view is all wrong?

IH: Don’t back away.

WH: Or they find my style derivative and clichéd?

IH: You're killing me. I’m looking for a last line.

WH: WHAT IF THEY HATE WHAT I’VE WRITTEN?

IH: And, "scene"! (Exits).

WH starts scribbling on her notepad

IH: (Returns to the stage) What are you doing?

WH: I’m writing that down. 

IH: You can’t do that. I called "scene". It's finished.

WH: Yes, and it’s just what I’ve been looking for.

IH: Yes, but the whole point of making up this stuff is its in the moment-ness.

WH: ‘In the moment-ness’?

IH: Okay, okay. So you’re the writer. 

WH: (Continues to write in notepad.) ‘In the moment-ness.’ (Laughs to herself).

IH: (Tries to grab the notepad). Hey, you can't just steal that line. 

I mean, if I knew you were going to write it down, I'd have thought about it a bit more.

WH: Yes, but I love it.

IH: Yes, AND I love it.

WH: Oh, shut up with all the 'yes, and' stuff. You're doing my head in.

IH: Is that your last line?

WH: I'm going to brain you in a minute.

IH: Or is that it? You know, I think I preferred the last one..

Improv Head and Writing Head exit still bickering.